I think I like this idea better except for the 'how does he eat?' conundrum.

I knew better than to log onto facebook for the first time in months, but after going for a couple of weeks without the internet (thanks, AT&T, for deciding I don’t exist and for having non-existent customer service on weekends) I went on such a gluttonous interwebs binge that I even found myself logging onto the FB. I uploaded some photos, checked to see if my brother was still alive (we have a really tight relationship like that) and took a look at my profile before I was going to log off.

I couldn’t log off though – and this we cannot blame on the addictive quality of books because facebook is not really a book. I could not log off because I happened to catch what was listed in my “Books I’m Reading Now” box on my profile page. It really was more of a “Books I Was Reading over a Year Ago” box.

I decided I needed to fix this immediately because I only log onto facebook somewhere between every three to nine months. These days it generally takes me about five tries or so to figure out how to accomplish whatever it is I am trying to do on FB. Invariably I will get a smidgen distracted and wind up doing at least two other things in the process of doing whatever it was I originally set out to do.

Rather than updating my “Books I’m Reading Now” I wound up adding in a couple of other books I had acquired and read and found myself horribly distracted by some poorly executed reviews which had been written about the books I had just added. I should have known better than to get caught up in the reviews that popped up along with the book’s listing but when an application throws out two little text boxes as examples of a positive and a negative review of Sherman Alexie’s Indian Killer it is hard for me to stifle my inner curious-little-monkey.

I expanded and read both the reviews. I had to expand them, you see, because these were the example reviews because they were “super reviews”. What makes a “super review” you might ask – apparently a two-hundred-fifty word count. My exasperation with both reviews lead me to write a quick review of my own and there was a little countdown of how many words I had to go before it was yet another “super review”.

It just seemed strange to me that the positive review and negative review were so similar. In fact the negative review seemed more positive on the whole than the positive review was. Both were hung up on the violence and adult language in the book. Too bad Alexie didn’t give Indian Killer a title that might warn people that there might be a couple of murders in the book. Oh wait, nm.

Clearly both reviewers had read at least the first fifteen pages of the book but both did such astounding jobs of missing the point. The reviewers wanted more nice (white?) characters they could relate to. More nice characters like the couple that adopted a Native American boy so they wouldn’t have to keep waiting for years to get a white kid. And like all non-white kids adopted by white parents they all live happily ever after – at least in the version that these super-reviewers must have read, but this is all a rant for another time.

After writing my own review I realized I needed to step away from the facebook. I had let myself get so distracted by reviewers missing the point that I had completely wandered away from the point of what I was trying to do on some silly social site’s application.